A Portrait of Gold Diggers

‘Runs girls’ are everyday girls. They look normal and often act normal but they have expensive tastes and a penchant for men with serious money. We know these girls. We went to university with them. It was because of them men with expensive cars parked in front of Queens Hall and Queen Idia Hall at the University of Ibadan. They were girls who were part-time students and ‘runs girls’ full time. They were girls whose hair, makeup, clothes and shoes were more expensive than their lecturers’. We all know them; when they are not in university, they  were gone with men who could pay sufficiently for their time. When they graduate from university, they become professional as they go for the ‘gold’ in men procurement.

‘Runs girls’ as a phenomenon have been around at least for decades; many understand them as mistresses and concubines. ‘Runs girls’ are common in expensive areas across nations, but there is no geographical limitation to their reach. Let’s face it, the girls who throng Abuja and Nigeria’s other major cities looking for men are simply ‘runs girls’. They are beautiful, sassy young women who don’t necessarily have a day job, but they have assets and things that take years to save and buy.

Gold diggers in Abuja today would typically have goods worth between N750,000 and N1 million in their handbags. Some of what they own may include an iPad (or android tablet), an iPhone (ideally a phone for each boyfriend), a nice well-furnished flat (in a posh area of town), Gucci (designer) accessories, Brazilian (Russia, Malaysian, Indonesian) hair, gold (16–50 carat) and so on.

The idea is not to suggest that gold digging is lucrative, the question is why do some girls find it attractive to be gold diggers? Can a girl survive without being a ‘runs girl’ in today’s Nigeria? Mollie Balogun’s larger-than-life creation on YouTube is Lolita – a gold digger auntie of sorts with tips and ideas as to how to spot a ‘faker and a maker’ and how to identify a ‘runs girl proper’. According to Lolita, all girls are potentially ‘runs girls’. Her rationale being that if you sleep with a man for pecuniary gain or advantage, you are a ‘runs girl’.

The problem with this generalisation is when you sleep with your boyfriend. Does that make you a ‘runs girl’ or when you sleep with a man old enough to be your father for money out of desperation? Your guess is as good as mine. Girls in relationships would ordinarily expect the things they get off their boyfriends as general incidents of the relationship. Lolita thinks differently. She thinks sleeping with a man for other reasons not connected to love is gold digging. Her videos aim to teach you how to do it smartly.

The bottom line is that gold diggers are typically attracted to men that have money. It does not matter that the men are old enough to be their fathers, have potbellies, or cannot speak proper English and have tribal marks. It is hard in England to find serious gold diggers, as rich men are not common, I think.   Perhaps, this is not exactly true as most men are only willing to pay for guaranteed services.  There are those relationships where the men regularly give something (usually money) in a bid to get sex in return. In Nigeria, on the other hand, there is a preponderance of easy money, hence the trade flourishes.

Girls become gold diggers for a variety of reasons. First, some ‘runs girls’ come from deprived homes where they need to hustle men with their bodies for money to pay for their rent, school fees, food, clothes and so on. Secondly, many are ‘runs girls’ because they are materialistic and they simply want to look the sophisticated part, so they gold-dig till they find the man/men to pay for their hairs, bags, nails and boob jobs.  Others are ‘runs girls’ for situational reasons.

Titi had been looking for a job for a while, or years in fact. When she came close to finally getting one, she was so desperate that she decided she would do anything to get the job offer, and she did. Her life story of ‘sex for gain’ started then. We must not overlook the fact that Nigerian men are also not the most disciplined. Men with some degree of power and cash often flaunt their wealth by actively chasing easy girls at parties, restaurants, clubs and so on. ‘Runs girls’ exist because for every one girl there are loads of men married and single who are dissatisfied with their sex lives and who would not mind the ‘services’ of these girls. It must also be said that the state of the Nigerian economy is such that vulnerable girls from poor homes are tempted to become ‘runs girls’.

Balogun’s Lolita satirically speaks to the ‘runs girl’ in every woman. Calling for transparency and honesty, Lolita encourages women not to settle for ‘fakers’ (men without money), but ‘makers’ (men with money). In an interview with Sahara TV, she admits she cannot advise girls to stop ‘running’ as she does not have a system to help or prevent them too, but that the government and society must do all they can to help every girl stand on her own two feet.

Whilst ‘runs girls’ are popular, not every woman is a ‘runs girl’. There are women out there who believe in themselves enough not to settle for the temporary allures in the business of gold digging. These women are hard working and are not deceived by the easy money for cheap sex either.

Although frustrations of unemployment and the poverty of a broken economy have forced women to discountenance their morals for the thrills of gold digging, not every woman believes so. The society should respond by creating opportunities for work. The tragedy of doing nothing means that we are condoning this menace that is destroying marriages and breaking homes. There is nothing attractive in being a professional gold digger. Nigerian girls must not feel pressured or forced into sex for advantage. The market/work place must be level enough for all to participate equally and fairly. For ‘runs girls’, a reminder that HIV is real should encourage them to stay clear of unprotected sex.

Tundun Adeyemo

Published in www.tellng.com

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Tolu Popoola's Interview on Sahara TV

Accountant turned Writer, Tolu’s book is a must read if you have ever been  in love, if you love a feel- good love story and  happy endings. The recommended way  to do this is to grab a copy of the book NOW sit by the fire side and have a cup of decaf tea( or whatever works for you) and read.

Tolu Popoola’s story and work inspires me to believe that when you work hard and reach for the stars, all things are possible.

Nothing Comes Close is available as an ebook and paperback from Amazon.com, Waterstones, WHSmith, Barnesandnoble.com and other online retailers.

 Tolu was interviewed by Sahara TV and  movingly, she shed light on the challenges of being an ethnic writer in England today.  For a  preview of Nothing Comes Close and other books, visit the publisher’s websitehttp://www.accomplishpress.com/books/ at  Accomplish Press website to download sample chapters .

Here is her interview. A huge thank you to Mr Sowore for making this happen and also much love to Adeola’s team for their professionalism. Lets support Tolu and buy her book!.

 

Does Racism Exist in the UK?

Hello again

Many black people would easily say YES!  Many will narrate incidents, episodes and experiences  which prove that racism has not been given the red card.  Is racism a colour problem? Or a class problem? White folk and some blacks will also tell you about how  post racial England has become. Fact: the question is a tough one to answer.

Racism is ugly wherever it rears its head and most times, if you are at the receiving end of silly jokes and wanton prejudice, it hurts. It can be very demoralising.  When as a black African you feel you are invisible at work or your audience has stopped listening because of your strong accent, you know you are in serious trouble.

The disparity in opinion as reflected in Ryan Hall’s video below has made me wonder really’ how intergrated black people are in England?’  I know black people are stepping into political leadership and all.  On the whole, there is still a deficit  in terms of political involvement, business ownership and wealth acquisition. My point? There is space at the top for ideas, regeneration and opportunities.We need to sell this message to young people from Peckam to Birmingham.  We need to stop acting the ‘victim’, own our situations and shine.  Being black does not mean you have to fit the ‘broke and busted’ stereotype. We need many more black role models , we need our churches to get their people involved more in their communities.  Perhaps this paragraph has nothing to do with racism..forgive me.

A friend put it this way:’ Black people  from Africa are not intergrated into their communities. Most Nigerians attend Nigerian only churches, dine and wine with Nigerians only. Intergration is a huge problem. This is why I think the AFRICAN is not respected like his Asian counterpart’. If this is true, then showing racism the red card starts when we ALL begin to act as though we have a voice. We do have a voice.

I have said too much. I feel I have been rambling. Here is my point: Racism does exist in the UK. Perhaps, we can all do something about it. Talking publicly about it helps.

 Stereotypes host Ryan Hall is in England to examine this question. Here is his thought provoking video. Stereotypes: Race vs Class with nearly 10,000 views already. He has touched a nerve.

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Must watch videos

Hello every body

I wanted to catch you up with some interesting videos out there.  Over this half term, I did some work with multi talented artist Mollie over at +Lolita Runs . Here is the video.

The Question she examined in her own stye: Do Men Prefer Natural Beauty? What do you think?

Also, my dear friend Tolu Popoola has been on Sahara Tv to publicize her book ‘ Notting Comes Close’. I dont have the video as yet, WATCH THIS SPACE, once I do, I will post it here for you.  Here is an amazing trailer for her book which can be found online (Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, ibooks and at many other retailer). Here is a video trailer. Many thanks to ApexReviews for this.

 
 
 
 
 
Follow me on Twitter @tundunadeyemo and I will follow you right back. Check out my website: www.2dunadeyemo.com
Subscribe for email updates, Support your girl.
 
T

The injustice of Tuition Fees


Often I meet young people in College, Sixth Form or  in the secondary school process who want to go on to University. This excites me personally as I also meet loads of young people who are not interested in the academic rigours of University life. Going to university as far as I am concerned is a neccessity for improving your chances for wealth and happiness in life.

A conversation with a parent recently brought home the reality of the Coalition’s class warfare as they increased tuition fees inspite of vehement opposition. Dennis gained admission to
Photocredit:onislam.net

three          universities. He deferred his admission purely for
financial reasons. His father told me, he would be starting out as a Marks and  Spencer management trainee instead. Why? The £56.900 debt for just tuition and accomodation over three years was enough deterrent for Dennis. Dennis is not the only person in this predicament. There are hundreds possibly thousands of British kids (our children) who are opting out of unversity to work first and then study later. For some, its a good bye to tertiary education.

This route in itself is not a bad idea, but it means you have to be self motivated and ambitious to return to the wals of a classroom. To our politicians, increase in tuition fees is perhaps just a policy, but in reality, it is burdening our young people with debt.

Is this what we want? Is this message fair and right?

How do you start life with a debt of nearly £60,000. How do you get a mortgage or buy a car? I suppose if your parents are rich enough, they could help out. But, we all dont have rich parents.

Some good news is  that record numbers of kids from the  ‘poor backgrounds are applying to universities inspite of the fees’. Here is the article from the Telegraph.(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/universityeducation/9838173/Poorer-students-rise-to-university-challenge-as-fees-put-off-middle-class.html.)  Kids from poor back grounds know they risk a bleak future without a university degree which is great. The greater tragedy for middle class families is the pain of watching  their kids make choices which could potentially see them at the bottom of the status ladder .

 The BBC, estimates that average debts may reach £53,000 for UK students starting in 2012- double the figure for 2011 – an annual survey suggests. The average predicted debt on leaving university for UK students is £26,100 for those starting in 2011, rising to £53,400 for 2012 entrants. For students in England, the projected average is £59,100, with the difference largely due to the fact that Scottish students do not have to pay tuition fees and increases for Welsh students’ will be covered by government subsidies.

If its any consolation, in the UK, graduates wil have to pay back their loans only once they start earning £21,000, and outstanding debt will be written off after 30 years.

We need to say this as it is: this is an injustice pure and simple. It is modern day slavery, an entrenchement of a class society. I am not a politician, but I can already tell you, our dear country will pay some day.

Tundun Adeyemo
follow me @tundunadeyemo

The Cat

Remembering last night!!! I wanted to do a post about cats. A long time ago, I had a kitten called Susie. I have written about her before, need to find the article and share. This poem is about another cat I do not see too often these days.

 

The cat
That’s all she is called
And then maybe ‘Big Eyes’ when
She is not feisty
She looks just like her owner

Which ever way you look at it.

A poem to the old fat cat
Who has learnt a thing or two
About stick insects and daddy long legs
Here is the cat
At bed time
In her box

 

Mollie Balogun on Sahara TV

Hello everybody

I should have uploaded this days ago. If you havent seen Mollie’s amazing performance talking to SaharaTV’s ‘Keeping it Real – Adeola Fayehun, here is a chance to. Articulate, witty and beautiful Mollie presents a social side to the age old problem of gold diggers/ runs girls.

Following on from her thoughts,  I wrote this week on Runs girls in Nigeria on www.tellng.com. You can have a look.

Be sure to stop by her page to see more of her videos and remember to ‘like’ her on facebook and to ‘subscribe’ to her channel  ‘Naijarunsgirl’ on youtube.

Tee.

Snowing

It’s break time at work now and I thought to capture the moment. Here is a picture from my desk. Can you see the gentle snow flakes?

It’s still snowing here….

If there is any message for this moment it is, take time to smell the flowers. Take time to laugh and enjoy being you.

Take time to enjoy today! It’s all you have.

Same Sex Marriage

It’s stale news now. We all know that the bill scaled through its second Reading yesterday evening. Same sex marriage is here to stay. We need to get used to it. We were told to celebrate ….. Are you celebrating the advancement of humanity or its decline?

Just wondering how don you feel about that?

Should Christians feel discouraged or threatened? Is it a great day or equality and diversity?

Allowing same sex marriages a strength to Traditional values? How do we teach this to children? What’s the promise for the next 50 years? Where do we draw the line?

Your thoughts? Talk to me!!!

Tundun Adeyemo

Weekend!!!!!

My weekend starts in approximately 46mins and I cannot wait. No plans to do anything extra ordinary …. Just home, chill, eat and maybe entertain. It’s Friday,
Its bible study and prayer meeting.

Hurray!!!!

Who is doing anything nice this weekend Nice does not include partying, drinking , clubbing or drugs.

Bag ready to go home !!!